Friday, October 22, 2004

The Songs of “Glam Rock Revelations

If you’re wondering what the songs of “Glam Rock Revelations” are all about,

Missionary Position

A song with a message of fun defiance and deliverance to improved self esteem. It has a soul born out of a path that begins with the discouragement, torment and loneliness of interacting with lying, closeted, self-phobic “guys on the internet”, otherwise known as “eels”, who are chasing “chicks with dicks.”

The path rounds a corner and uncovers 1. the self respect needed to refuse degrading sexual encounters entered into to try (in vain) to feel love by some external ( in this case skanky “eels”) source; and 2. the freedom and courage to refuse incorrect fetish labels and define ones own self.

Incidentally: Once the girl in this song fends of the “eels” and finds those higher level people with their gender politics and bedroom moves working in delicious harmony, I’m sure she’s got lots of time for the Missionary Position.

I’ve Got Your Picture

A true loved ‘em and lost em – if ya really had ‘em to begin with ballad. Originally a very long song with numerous piano interludes, this song was shortened to it’s present form.

Incidentally: Haunting new words were laid over the third chorus after some tragic events and cruel events conspired to bring on the fate of knowing in your soul you will love someone for the rest of your life, but will never see them again.

Everybody Start

This song is about the apathy surrounding the Bush invasion of Iraq. When people weren’t entertaining themselves with this “spectator sport” war, they were distracting themselves from the horror of its blood shed with all kinds of devices. “Having Sex” and using “peace marches as pick-up joints” were chosen as the examples of the distractions used because they just might be shocking enough (and that’s a big MIGHT BE) to jar people out of the comatosed state they’ve been lulled into by mass media, political spin doctors and a hedonistic, “gimme gimme gimme”, material acquisition based North American culture into the realization that earth is “d”evoling into a barbarian “eye for an eye” cruel hell hole (yes it is a hell hole – you just can’t see it from the suburbs) where more and more innocent people (children and the poor) are losers. A realization that hopefully will give rise to the conclusion that, like the 60’s, in the new millennium there should be at least as much peace making as fucking.

Incidentally: this song first appeared on the Lady Fest Ottawa 2003 compilation CD. It was put on the cd as the last track, I was told by the organizer, because (as I later confirmed), it was the best song on the CD.

Would You Ever

It’s a rhetorical question. The strong “NO! – I would never have a sex change!” reaction this song evokes in 99% of the people who hear it is supposed to enlighten those same 99% of listeners that the remaining 1% of listeners feel EQUALLY as passionate that “YES, they need to have a sex change”. That this surgery is not a want, a pop culture joke, a sickness or a fetish. It is a real medical, emotional, social, spiritual need some people were born into. A need to align their bodies with their spirits and their opposite sexed brains.

Incidentally: On my way to the Toronto CD launch of the “Glam Rock Revelations” EP I was subjected to watching “White Chicks” (without volume) on the bus. It was from the same ill informed, tranny as comedic gag genre as 1995’s“Too Wong Foo” (Patrick Swaysey’s career never recovered) and 1982’s “Tootsie” (Dustin Hoffman’s career didn’t recover for a long time). Only this time black cops dressed up as white “chicks” to get this bus load of fat heads laughing as we, ahm, dragged down the highway in the rain. It was then that I was proud of myself. Even though I was spending $200.00 on travel, not to mention exertion, to give away $300.00 worth of CDs to strangers.

Proud. Because this song actually tells the stories of people who’ve been singled out as comic relief by Hollywood, and even the small screen (can Law and Order get through even two episodes in a row without making reference to a “tranny”?) the real story is these people aren’t just for laughs. They are struggling. They are trying. They are smiling. They are crying. They are living. They are looking for work. They are going gray. All of these things. Just like everyone. Except on top of all this – they were “born with the wrong crotch.”

How many would have folded their cards rather than folded, if they had been dealt the wrong crotch. As many people who were laughing (at themselves unbeknownst to them) during all those bad drag movies. Less smirks. More respect for these brave, wrong-crotched souls.

Ms., Miss or Mr.

This song describes all of the many hilariously, poetic and tragic “miss”haps that happen to people who are “the third in an either or option.” “Miss” haps most “either ors” would never even think of, let alone experience. Bottom line: Being constantly scrutinized and ogled by people who are trying to “figure you out”, in many cases as a distraction for avoiding figuring themselves out) is a lot to deal with! That’s why “flower power” and Glam Rock will always be such necessary allies.

Incidentally: My brother always laughed at this song. Before it was even finished. And because it wasn’t finished. Laughed in a loving way. He thought it was a fun idea. He’s one of my biggest fans. (He just didn’t know he was for years.) Well on that note, after 3 years, whether it’s Ms., Miss or Mr., it’s finished. And it’s only just begun.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

No Going Back

Sunday I attended Toronto CanZine at a haggered, holed and otherwise "had" old relic of 1890: the Gladstone Hotel on Queen St. West. This place really had character. Something like the set of the Muppet Show.

There were 150 vendors lined up shoulder to shoulder at little tables, not as wide as your arm. Selling their zines. I was there, dressed in a wine coloured boustier outfit, for my Cd release party. I gave away copies of my now finished (after almost 3 years) EP "Glam Rock Revelations". I took 102 copies but could only Give! away 65 copies. Despite sitting at my table from Noon til 630 pm. And actually hocking it. "Do you like Glam Rock music? You know - early Cyndi Lauper?!"

A very humbling music carreer moment. Plus someone stole/ aquired my wallet. I came home that same night in a car full of ass-dragging misfits (me being the most misfitish of all, ofcourse). The Toronto cops had found my wallet by Monday night. The Toronto police are still coordinating the couriering of my wallet.

Incidentially: I did get 65 people to sign my mailing list. So when I have a new announcement about my music I can send it out. It's something. My friend Angie who gave away her zines (including titles such as "I Hate Latte Drinkers" and "She Was Debbie Gibson, I Was Martika") said most people never try anything, let alone finish anything. So this EP and CD release party is, "a real step up- which there's no going back on."

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Watching Myself Do The, “You Go Girl!”

I walked through the stationary warehouse store picking up the blank cds, jewel cases and labels. Tom Waits was singing “I Aint Missing You” on the speakers.

It’s a hard call to say which version is better, Waits’ or Tina Turner’s. I have to pick the former as I have more history with it. (I can remember listening to it over and over as I drove the 5 hours back home to the other seashore from Nova Scotia's St. Francais Xavier University where I’d been auditioning to get into the Bachelor of Jazz program (which I'm retrospectively happy to not have been accepted into) and hanging out with a guy I had a crush on – but later turned out to be gay (though he's still in the closet to this day).

“I Aint Missing You.” I think of all the people who’ve stampeded in and exploded out of my life in the nearly 3 years it has taken me to create my EP, “Glam Rock Revelations”. And it seems that finally, triumphantly even, I’m NOT missing these people as much, if at all, any more.

I feel vindicated to realize that I am carrying on. Somewhat lighter from dropping the tears and toxic people. Somewhat heavier from the memories. With a few more scars from the evil done to me. But overall much more free from the past. And confident, based on a quick glance into the past, that I can persevere through almost anything, and anyone.

I’m carrying on.

Beyond persevering now.

To thriving.

To putting out my EP.

To fulfilling my dreams.

I’m carrying on.

As someone who was listening to a few of my stories of battling everything from anorexia to agoraphobia said in her wonderful German accent,

“ Mackenzie... All these things. All these struggles. But overall the message is:

Look how far you’ve come Baybay.””